WEBVTT 00:03:34.417 --> 00:03:37.292 Till number one. 00:03:43.626 --> 00:03:46.251 Till number one. 00:03:52.626 --> 00:03:55.334 Till number one. 00:04:06.376 --> 00:04:08.584 Good morning, sir, welcome to Waingel's Bank. 00:04:08.667 --> 00:04:10.376 My name is Sheila. How can I help you? 00:04:21.459 --> 00:04:25.959 01632 960786? 00:04:26.042 --> 00:04:28.459 - You all right? - Yeah, all right. You? 00:04:28.542 --> 00:04:30.792 - Yeah, yeah. - Do you want me to get him? 00:04:30.876 --> 00:04:38.501 - Uh, yeah. - Vince! Vince! Telephone! 00:04:38.584 --> 00:04:41.542 - Is that Gwen? - No, your dad. 00:04:52.251 --> 00:04:54.376 - All right? - Don't ask. You? 00:04:54.459 --> 00:04:56.376 Yeah, you? 00:06:09.834 --> 00:06:12.834 - What are you doing? - Going round Dad's. 00:06:12.917 --> 00:06:14.084 What about supper? 00:06:14.167 --> 00:06:16.209 What supper? You didn't tell me anything? 00:06:16.292 --> 00:06:18.459 Don't give me that! Of course you knew. 00:06:18.542 --> 00:06:20.167 What else do I do every evening? 00:06:20.251 --> 00:06:22.251 Just put it in the fridge. I can have it tomorrow. 00:06:22.334 --> 00:06:25.334 Vince, you are pushing me to the edge, do you know that? 00:06:25.792 --> 00:06:28.376 Eat your dinner, then you can go to your dad's. 00:06:28.459 --> 00:06:31.376 - Leave it out, Mum. - Well, what are you going to eat? 00:06:31.459 --> 00:06:33.042 Stacy's making a curry. 00:06:33.126 --> 00:06:34.417 Who's Stacy? 00:06:34.501 --> 00:06:36.042 His new bird. 00:06:39.626 --> 00:06:40.751 He didn't tell you? 00:07:58.126 --> 00:08:00.126 Oh! Freezing out there! 00:08:00.209 --> 00:08:01.876 I thought you'd be back at six. 00:08:02.501 --> 00:08:04.834 Long queue in the post office. 00:08:04.917 --> 00:08:07.876 You'd think it'd be empty after Christmas. 00:08:07.959 --> 00:08:09.292 Starving here! 00:08:10.126 --> 00:08:13.709 Forgot already what you were banging on about last night? 00:08:13.792 --> 00:08:15.167 Fridge dinners and all that? 00:08:15.251 --> 00:08:18.501 Or have you gone off the idea of stale food... 00:08:19.584 --> 00:08:22.667 Oh, sorry. 00:08:22.751 --> 00:08:25.001 I didn't know you had company. 00:08:25.542 --> 00:08:27.209 How's it going, Gwen? 00:08:27.584 --> 00:08:31.167 - She's modelling. - Pardon me, then. 00:08:32.126 --> 00:08:34.584 I'm cooking for three then, am I? 00:08:35.251 --> 00:08:39.501 - Gwen? Vince? Anyone? - Yes, please. 00:08:40.001 --> 00:08:41.501 Have you offered her anything? 00:08:42.126 --> 00:08:43.626 We only just started. 00:08:44.542 --> 00:08:46.626 Gwen, would you like a drink? 00:08:52.084 --> 00:08:53.084 Let's have a look. 00:09:02.001 --> 00:09:05.876 Very good! He's made you look really lovely, Gwen. 00:09:07.584 --> 00:09:09.251 I wish I had that talent. 00:10:24.292 --> 00:10:29.209 You've reached 01632 960786. 00:10:29.292 --> 00:10:31.751 I'm not in right now, but if you leave a message, 00:10:31.834 --> 00:10:33.167 I'll get straight back to you. 00:10:34.584 --> 00:10:39.709 This is a message for Sheila. It's Adonis. Box number 1592. 00:10:39.792 --> 00:10:42.542 I got your letter and your photo. 00:10:42.626 --> 00:10:44.167 I've got a few other dates this week, 00:10:44.251 --> 00:10:46.331 but give me a call and I'll see if I can slot you in. 00:10:46.751 --> 00:10:51.126 My number is 01632 960322. 00:11:14.626 --> 00:11:16.626 A purchase on a horizon, 00:11:16.709 --> 00:11:18.917 a panoply of temptation. 00:11:19.001 --> 00:11:20.542 Can a curious soul desist? 00:11:20.959 --> 00:11:23.084 I'm just looking, thank you. 00:11:23.459 --> 00:11:26.376 The hesitation in your voice soon to be an echo 00:11:26.459 --> 00:11:29.292 in the recesses of the spheres of retail. 00:12:04.876 --> 00:12:08.792 Imagine, 60 percent vanished from this sensational garment. 00:12:11.001 --> 00:12:14.209 In apprehensions lie the crevices of clarity. 00:12:15.917 --> 00:12:17.834 Isn't it a little risqué? 00:12:17.917 --> 00:12:21.709 A provocation. For what else must one wear? 00:12:21.792 --> 00:12:23.917 I'm just going on a date. 00:12:24.001 --> 00:12:31.001 A date? Well? And what kind of date? Food and drinks? 00:12:31.084 --> 00:12:33.001 Food and drinks, yeah. 00:12:33.084 --> 00:12:35.626 An embellishment of occasion, for instance, 00:12:35.709 --> 00:12:38.459 but also the emphasis of comfort and pleasure. 00:12:39.042 --> 00:12:42.751 Thus you will destroy two birds with a stone. 00:13:27.417 --> 00:13:30.459 Imagine, the dress is your image 00:13:30.542 --> 00:13:34.709 and from me onto what you project through an illusion. 00:13:37.376 --> 00:13:42.626 One sensation of mind, one fabric in recollection of touch. 00:13:44.126 --> 00:13:47.209 But this is how I see your night romance. 00:13:47.917 --> 00:13:49.709 I predict the fantasy. 00:13:50.376 --> 00:13:53.834 Isn't it small? What size is this? 00:13:54.376 --> 00:13:55.501 Thirty-six. 00:13:56.334 --> 00:13:58.209 But I'm not a thirty-six. 00:13:59.709 --> 00:14:03.584 In a number is only the equation of actuality. 00:14:04.167 --> 00:14:08.376 Dimensions and proportions transcend the prisms of our measurements. 00:14:10.251 --> 00:14:12.376 You're not getting any more in? 00:14:16.292 --> 00:14:21.251 There's a lucky man somewhere in the vista of this mysterious mirror. 00:14:22.376 --> 00:14:23.792 May I ask his name? 00:14:25.001 --> 00:14:27.042 His name's Adonis. 00:14:27.126 --> 00:14:30.792 Adonis? I see him. 00:14:30.876 --> 00:14:32.334 I like him. 00:14:36.792 --> 00:14:40.001 And it's not clinging too tightly here? 00:14:40.084 --> 00:14:43.917 Desist warning attention to the askew perception of self. 00:14:44.876 --> 00:14:48.167 Lightest trivia and the local vectors of frivolity 00:14:48.251 --> 00:14:51.209 are the topics Adonis will be discussing tonight. 00:14:52.751 --> 00:14:55.334 I don't normally wear this kind of thing. 00:14:55.834 --> 00:14:59.709 Darings eclipse the dark circumference of caution. 00:15:00.876 --> 00:15:04.626 Be bold. Your date will compliment you. 00:15:36.501 --> 00:15:37.501 Touch it. 00:15:39.584 --> 00:15:40.709 Feel it here. 00:15:58.626 --> 00:16:03.834 And may I interest you in other desired supposes in our exclusive boutique? 00:16:03.917 --> 00:16:06.542 I'm fine for now, thank you. 00:16:06.626 --> 00:16:09.167 Then I would like you to announce your locus of residence 00:16:09.251 --> 00:16:11.959 followed by the numbers to your telephone. 00:16:12.626 --> 00:16:14.334 Sheila Woolchapel, 00:16:14.417 --> 00:16:18.792 16 Ferndale Road, Thames Valley-on-Thames. 00:16:18.876 --> 00:16:25.042 01632 960786. 00:17:22.667 --> 00:17:23.959 Thank you. 00:17:24.417 --> 00:17:27.626 The pleasure is all mine, Sheila Woolchapel. 00:17:27.709 --> 00:17:32.042 Adonis will be waiting and he will compliment you. 00:17:36.792 --> 00:17:39.792 Till number one. 00:17:42.376 --> 00:17:44.751 Till number one. 00:18:27.751 --> 00:18:30.459 Sheila Woolchapel, 00:18:30.542 --> 00:18:35.167 16 Ferndale Road, Thames Valley-on-Thames. 00:18:35.251 --> 00:18:36.459 Telephonic code: 00:18:36.542 --> 00:18:44.292 zero and one and six and three and two and nine and six and zero 00:18:44.376 --> 00:18:48.501 and seven and eight and six and stop. 00:18:49.626 --> 00:18:52.709 Well, maybe I can actually, you know... 00:18:55.084 --> 00:18:56.709 No, I'm not. 00:19:00.626 --> 00:19:04.167 I'm off. Your dinner's in the fridge. 00:19:07.584 --> 00:19:09.417 What have you done to your hair? 00:19:10.667 --> 00:19:11.667 Why? 00:19:12.501 --> 00:19:13.834 Looks like the council cut it. 00:19:14.834 --> 00:19:15.917 Thanks. 00:19:16.834 --> 00:19:18.667 You're not dating, are you? 00:19:19.667 --> 00:19:22.334 Why? Aren't I allowed to? 00:19:22.417 --> 00:19:23.584 Bit soon? 00:19:24.042 --> 00:19:26.376 I didn't know there was a time limit. 00:19:27.209 --> 00:19:29.084 I thought you wanted to get back with Dad. 00:19:29.167 --> 00:19:34.334 That was a while ago, and obviously your dad had other ideas. 00:19:36.459 --> 00:19:42.001 Oh, and tell that femme fatale of yours to get off the phone. 00:19:42.084 --> 00:19:44.167 It's gonna cost me a fortune. 00:19:48.042 --> 00:19:54.126 You've reached 01632 960786. 00:19:54.209 --> 00:19:58.584 I'm not in right now, but if you leave a message I'll get straight back to you. 00:20:00.126 --> 00:20:02.209 It's Adonis again. 00:20:02.292 --> 00:20:05.834 Amesos Greek restaurant, 7:30. 00:20:05.917 --> 00:20:09.792 I'll be wearing a dark Donningtonio suit and carrying a rose. 00:20:09.876 --> 00:20:14.292 I'm tall, slim, short back and sides. 00:20:14.376 --> 00:20:17.084 If you don't find me, I'll find you. 00:21:33.792 --> 00:21:34.792 Oh! 00:21:34.876 --> 00:21:37.626 - Box number 1592? - Yeah. 00:21:37.709 --> 00:21:40.667 - Did I scare you? - No, it's fine. 00:21:40.751 --> 00:21:43.709 I've got some love vouchers that will give us ten percent off 00:21:43.792 --> 00:21:45.417 as long as we share the same pudding. 00:21:45.501 --> 00:21:49.709 Pudding? Sounds good. Join me. 00:22:08.126 --> 00:22:10.584 - As promised. - Oh, thank you. 00:22:18.001 --> 00:22:20.167 - What? - You look different. 00:22:20.709 --> 00:22:21.834 How? 00:22:22.751 --> 00:22:24.042 Well, your hair. 00:22:25.334 --> 00:22:26.792 Hair grows back. 00:22:45.292 --> 00:22:48.667 - Do you know what you're having? - In a minute, OK? 00:22:49.584 --> 00:22:51.126 The moussaka looks good. 00:23:06.376 --> 00:23:08.459 So, you like dancing then? 00:23:09.792 --> 00:23:11.751 Not tonight, I sprained my ankle. 00:23:11.834 --> 00:23:15.959 God, I didn't mean tonight. Just in general. You like dancing? 00:23:16.042 --> 00:23:17.042 Yeah. 00:23:24.084 --> 00:23:27.917 It says in your lonely hearts advertisement that you like laughing. 00:23:29.084 --> 00:23:30.084 Yeah. 00:23:32.417 --> 00:23:33.584 What kind of things? 00:23:34.126 --> 00:23:35.876 Funny things. 00:23:35.959 --> 00:23:39.209 - What about cooking? - What is this, an exam? 00:23:42.542 --> 00:23:44.417 Friendly evenings, guests. 00:23:44.501 --> 00:23:47.667 Welcome to Amesos. My name is Vlassis and you are? 00:23:48.959 --> 00:23:50.584 Sheila Woolchapel. 00:23:51.959 --> 00:23:53.167 Adonis Jackson. 00:23:53.251 --> 00:23:55.584 And may I take your lucky orders? 00:23:59.334 --> 00:24:00.334 Madam? 00:24:00.834 --> 00:24:04.626 Oh, there will be the tzatziki for the starter 00:24:04.709 --> 00:24:08.042 and vegetable moussaka for the main. 00:24:08.126 --> 00:24:10.334 Instantly, madam. You, sir? 00:24:17.084 --> 00:24:20.084 Um... I will come back for your lucky order. 00:25:02.792 --> 00:25:09.334 Vince? Vince? Get a move on. I'm desperate. Vince? 00:25:13.501 --> 00:25:17.001 Sorry, I didn't know you were staying over. 00:25:17.084 --> 00:25:18.584 Didn't Vince tell you? 00:25:19.751 --> 00:25:21.501 Well, maybe I didn't hear. 00:25:21.584 --> 00:25:23.042 I hope it's not a problem. 00:25:23.126 --> 00:25:24.876 Of course not, no. 00:25:26.042 --> 00:25:27.084 Nice night out? 00:25:27.167 --> 00:25:30.167 Yes, thank you. Caught up with a friend. 00:25:30.251 --> 00:25:33.376 Where's Vince? He didn't answer when I called him. 00:25:33.876 --> 00:25:36.459 He must've knocked himself out. 00:25:36.542 --> 00:25:41.126 It's always the way with him. As soon as he comes, he's out for the count. 00:25:41.209 --> 00:25:44.417 Must be the pressure of those mock exams. 00:25:44.501 --> 00:25:46.001 It should get better by February. 00:25:47.542 --> 00:25:49.501 Did you get anything nice in the sales? 00:25:49.584 --> 00:25:51.001 Not much. You? 00:25:51.084 --> 00:25:53.626 I found a very tasteful pair of Carpathian stockings 00:25:53.709 --> 00:25:57.417 from Dentley and Soper's. Seventy percent off. 00:25:58.167 --> 00:26:00.501 Now that's what I call a bargain. 00:26:01.542 --> 00:26:03.292 I'm sorry if I was too long in the shower. 00:26:04.042 --> 00:26:06.959 I won't keep you waiting as I know you're desperate. 00:28:00.626 --> 00:28:03.251 - What are you doing? - You tell me. 00:28:03.334 --> 00:28:05.751 - How did this end up in here? - Eh? 00:28:06.334 --> 00:28:09.376 The next time your girlfriend wants to try something on, 00:28:09.459 --> 00:28:11.251 how about asking me first? 00:28:11.334 --> 00:28:14.001 - You got a screw loose? - Don't talk to me like that. 00:28:14.084 --> 00:28:16.584 Gwen wouldn't be seen dead in something like that. 00:28:16.667 --> 00:28:19.376 - So how did it end up in there, then? - How would I know? 00:28:19.459 --> 00:28:21.876 I don't like people going through my things, Vince. 00:28:21.959 --> 00:28:25.917 - Touché! Neither do I. - Don't you touché me. 00:28:26.001 --> 00:28:29.209 I've had enough of her making a mini-bar from my wine 00:28:29.292 --> 00:28:32.126 and now helping herself to my wardrobe. 00:28:32.209 --> 00:28:35.542 She's turning my house into a boudoir and I'm not having it. 00:28:35.626 --> 00:28:38.334 It's becoming a bit disgusting if you must know. 00:28:38.417 --> 00:28:39.417 Leave it out, Mum. 00:28:39.501 --> 00:28:41.792 No, I'm not going to leave it out, young Vincent. 00:28:41.876 --> 00:28:45.209 I'll say it again because nothing gets through your head. 00:28:45.292 --> 00:28:49.042 To be frank, I find Gwen a bit disgusting. 00:28:49.751 --> 00:28:52.792 And the sooner you take that on board, the better. 00:29:17.917 --> 00:29:18.917 Hello. 00:29:53.042 --> 00:29:54.917 I hope you didn't move without me. 00:29:55.001 --> 00:29:56.584 Don't get paranoid, Mum. 00:29:57.292 --> 00:29:59.709 Now where were we? 00:29:59.792 --> 00:30:01.376 Your turn, Don Juan. 00:30:18.542 --> 00:30:20.959 - Oh, my God, what's that? - What? 00:30:21.792 --> 00:30:23.251 That looks nasty. 00:30:24.167 --> 00:30:25.709 Just some sort of rash. 00:30:25.792 --> 00:30:27.542 Ugh, I hope it isn't catchy. 00:30:27.626 --> 00:30:29.459 Yeah, what is that? I saw it the other day. 00:30:29.542 --> 00:30:34.167 I don't know. An allergy of some sort. Maybe the washing powder. 00:30:34.251 --> 00:30:36.917 - You should get it looked at, Mum. - Don't scare me. 00:30:37.001 --> 00:30:40.917 I'm not scaring you. Just get a cream and Bob's your uncle. For your sake. 00:30:41.001 --> 00:30:43.292 My financial advisor had something similar. 00:30:43.376 --> 00:30:45.542 Some kind of blood infection. 00:30:45.626 --> 00:30:47.501 Ended up having to amputate her right arm. 00:30:47.584 --> 00:30:50.376 - Don't give me that. - Seriously! 00:30:50.459 --> 00:30:53.334 The doctor kept sending her home saying it was some kind of allergy 00:30:53.417 --> 00:30:55.042 and she ended up really ill. 00:30:56.251 --> 00:30:58.459 But it's fine now. 00:30:58.542 --> 00:31:01.751 She eventually learnt to write left-handed. 00:31:01.834 --> 00:31:04.126 Beautiful handwriting too. 00:31:04.959 --> 00:31:06.001 Your turn. 00:31:25.334 --> 00:31:26.834 Oh, dear. 00:31:30.834 --> 00:31:32.584 Tough decision. 00:32:10.667 --> 00:32:12.501 Do you have to talk French all the time? 00:32:13.084 --> 00:32:15.251 He has to practise for his A levels. 00:32:26.584 --> 00:32:27.792 Actually. 00:32:31.376 --> 00:32:34.084 Sorry. 00:32:40.292 --> 00:32:41.792 What was that? 00:32:42.334 --> 00:32:44.542 - Turn it off. - I've turned it off! 00:32:44.626 --> 00:32:46.126 Pull the plug out! 00:32:50.251 --> 00:32:53.667 Sit on it or something! Oh! 00:32:59.959 --> 00:33:01.126 Mum! 00:33:15.459 --> 00:33:16.917 What's going on with this thing? 00:37:51.042 --> 00:37:53.751 Till number two. 00:37:58.251 --> 00:38:00.042 Thanks for coming in, Sheila. 00:38:00.126 --> 00:38:03.376 Look at that, still finding pine needles everywhere. 00:38:03.459 --> 00:38:07.334 All over our sofa back home as well. Must get a plastic tree next year. 00:38:07.417 --> 00:38:09.501 Yeah, we must. How's it going, Sheila? 00:38:09.584 --> 00:38:11.584 - Yeah, everything's fine. - Ah. 00:38:12.001 --> 00:38:13.417 What happened to your hand? 00:38:13.501 --> 00:38:16.876 Nothing much. Washing machine went bananas. 00:38:16.959 --> 00:38:19.667 Well, we know a very good repair company if you need anyone. 00:38:19.751 --> 00:38:22.626 - What's that, Staverton's? - Yeah. Staverton's Wash. In your area. 00:38:22.709 --> 00:38:24.810 They did wonders with our machine, didn't they, Clive? 00:38:24.834 --> 00:38:26.917 Yeah, they did. A really good mechanic. 00:38:27.001 --> 00:38:30.501 So how are things going? Do you feel on top of things at the moment? 00:38:30.584 --> 00:38:32.376 Yeah, I think so. 00:38:32.459 --> 00:38:35.417 We didn't see you at the Christmas bowling the other week. 00:38:35.501 --> 00:38:38.001 Oh, I think I had a lot on with my son that night. 00:38:38.084 --> 00:38:40.126 Hmm. Interesting. 00:38:40.209 --> 00:38:43.626 Sheila, Pete Mathinson spoke to us the other day. 00:38:43.709 --> 00:38:47.209 Now he's really impressed with how you're all doing. Lots of good feedback. 00:38:47.292 --> 00:38:50.709 Yeah, he also noticed how attuned you were to the Waingel's Wavelength. 00:38:50.792 --> 00:38:53.126 Yeah. One thing he flagged with us though. 00:38:53.209 --> 00:38:55.251 He wasn't sure about your handshake. 00:38:57.126 --> 00:39:00.042 Pete thinks you're doing really well, likes the way you smell as well, 00:39:00.126 --> 00:39:03.209 but to tell you the truth, the handshake did come up 00:39:03.292 --> 00:39:07.501 and Pete commented on how perhaps it wasn't meaningful enough. 00:39:08.042 --> 00:39:10.959 Sheila, Pete wanted you to have this article here. 00:39:11.042 --> 00:39:14.334 Um... It's about the importance of a meaningful handshake. 00:39:14.417 --> 00:39:16.292 Sure, I'll take a look. 00:39:16.376 --> 00:39:18.209 It's written in a fun, easy language 00:39:18.292 --> 00:39:21.042 and there's a cartoon at the end that summarises the key points. 00:39:21.126 --> 00:39:23.768 And Sheila, if you want, we'd be happy to try out a role-play scenario 00:39:23.792 --> 00:39:26.667 - which involves handshaking. - It doesn't have to be a bank scenario. 00:39:26.751 --> 00:39:28.631 We have a range of costumes we could all try on. 00:39:28.667 --> 00:39:31.042 - It's OK, I'll practise at home. - Hm. 00:39:31.417 --> 00:39:33.834 One other thing, Sheila. 00:39:33.917 --> 00:39:38.251 One of your colleagues noticed that you tend to visit the ladies' room 00:39:38.334 --> 00:39:40.834 prior to clocking out for feeding time. 00:39:41.917 --> 00:39:43.501 Who told you this? 00:39:43.584 --> 00:39:45.792 It wouldn't be professional of us to say her name. 00:39:45.876 --> 00:39:49.542 I normally clock out and instantly leave the building. 00:39:49.626 --> 00:39:51.417 Well, if it's a one-off we understand, 00:39:51.501 --> 00:39:54.626 but we just wanted to flag it up with you, in case Pete finds out. 00:39:54.709 --> 00:39:56.542 A minute or two might not seem significant, 00:39:56.626 --> 00:39:58.459 but when we spoke to your colleague, 00:39:58.542 --> 00:40:01.542 she did some calculations and rightly reminded us 00:40:01.626 --> 00:40:04.917 that if these unwarranted toilet visits were to take place 00:40:05.001 --> 00:40:07.334 at an estimate of two minutes per visit, 00:40:07.417 --> 00:40:11.084 you would accrue over four hundred minutes every year. 00:40:11.167 --> 00:40:14.501 And to tell you the truth, two minutes for a visit to the toilet is generous. 00:40:14.584 --> 00:40:16.834 Well, in my experience it's two and a half. 00:40:16.917 --> 00:40:18.751 I timed myself right before this meeting. 00:40:18.834 --> 00:40:22.501 It was a one-off, I can assure you. 00:40:23.084 --> 00:40:26.126 Whoever it was who informed you of my transgression 00:40:26.209 --> 00:40:31.001 obviously doesn't notice that I'm regularly in ten minutes early. 00:40:31.084 --> 00:40:33.167 Maybe you could do the maths on that. 00:40:34.584 --> 00:40:37.417 - What do you think? - Is fantastic. 00:40:37.501 --> 00:40:39.001 And the shawl? 00:40:39.084 --> 00:40:42.709 The shawlest vantage praises January customer 00:40:42.792 --> 00:40:47.917 for she is in purchase of our sacred domain. Cheers. 00:40:50.126 --> 00:40:52.042 It's a little tight around the shoulders. 00:40:52.126 --> 00:40:54.959 I knew I'd need a size up after Christmas. 00:40:55.042 --> 00:40:58.584 When your stature is emphasised, it is my duty to provide you 00:40:58.667 --> 00:41:03.209 with a notion of proportion that reflects your ideal of dimension. 00:41:03.292 --> 00:41:04.709 Wait here. 00:41:38.459 --> 00:41:41.501 Our perspectives on the spectres of mortality 00:41:41.584 --> 00:41:45.709 must not be compromised by an askew index of commerce. 00:41:50.959 --> 00:41:51.959 I'm sorry. 00:41:53.001 --> 00:41:55.584 The model, the affliction. 00:41:56.417 --> 00:41:57.542 What happened? 00:41:59.251 --> 00:42:01.042 A calamity. 00:42:01.126 --> 00:42:05.501 Imagine. Jill Woodmere. Yes, she. 00:42:05.584 --> 00:42:09.417 Our range in garments she defined through a rapture of display. 00:42:10.542 --> 00:42:15.167 And here, the last dress she wore. Oh, how she adored it. 00:42:15.251 --> 00:42:16.751 I'm sorry. 00:42:34.667 --> 00:42:36.334 The rhombic coat? 00:42:37.626 --> 00:42:40.751 The rhombic coat, yes. I'll try it on. 00:42:41.209 --> 00:42:43.709 Sorry, one last thing. 00:42:43.792 --> 00:42:46.459 How many of those dresses were in stock? 00:42:46.542 --> 00:42:49.167 One. Only the one. 00:42:49.751 --> 00:42:52.501 And the model wore that same dress? 00:42:53.167 --> 00:42:58.917 Yes. But imagine, she extensively showered before that photograph. 00:44:53.542 --> 00:44:54.917 Vince? 00:44:56.959 --> 00:44:58.209 Vince? 00:45:58.209 --> 00:46:02.292 Zach? Sheila, box number 6832. 00:46:05.042 --> 00:46:08.417 I have some love vouchers here with some exciting discounts. 00:46:08.501 --> 00:46:11.292 That's if you don't mind sharing a pudding with me. 00:46:57.376 --> 00:47:00.167 - You look familiar, you know? - Oh, no, don't scare me. 00:47:00.251 --> 00:47:03.709 Seriously, I've seen you somewhere before, I don't know where, but... 00:47:03.792 --> 00:47:05.001 Do you bank at Waingel's? 00:47:05.459 --> 00:47:07.876 Ah, I thought it was something like that. 00:47:08.584 --> 00:47:11.917 I remember now. You fined me for going over my limit! 00:47:12.001 --> 00:47:15.917 Oh, not me, I don't fine. I just follow orders from above. 00:47:16.417 --> 00:47:17.959 I think I still have a letter from you 00:47:18.042 --> 00:47:20.584 asking me to make an appointment with your managers. 00:47:20.667 --> 00:47:23.417 You were kind of stern, but I liked it. 00:48:11.042 --> 00:48:14.001 What happened? What happened? 00:48:14.084 --> 00:48:16.834 It's OK, it's OK. 00:48:16.917 --> 00:48:20.292 Come here, it's OK. 00:48:35.542 --> 00:48:38.376 It's hard to make friends in this town. 00:48:38.459 --> 00:48:39.792 I know. 00:48:42.459 --> 00:48:43.751 Is it just me? 00:48:44.667 --> 00:48:47.292 No, it's OK. Don't think about it. 00:48:49.292 --> 00:48:52.876 It's hard to make friends here, it really is. 00:48:56.626 --> 00:48:59.376 You met many others through this? 00:49:00.501 --> 00:49:02.917 A few. You? 00:49:04.167 --> 00:49:06.084 One or two. 00:49:09.417 --> 00:49:11.876 I don't need to meet anyone anymore. 00:49:13.126 --> 00:49:14.126 Me neither. 00:51:08.126 --> 00:51:11.251 "You who wear me will know me." 00:51:12.251 --> 00:51:13.709 What's that supposed to mean? 00:51:13.792 --> 00:51:15.542 It's just a design feature. 00:51:15.626 --> 00:51:17.042 Cheap bit of mystery. 00:51:18.126 --> 00:51:21.042 You think anyone buying these things gives a damn what it all means? 00:51:23.584 --> 00:51:25.334 Would you think I'm bonkers 00:51:25.417 --> 00:51:27.959 if I told you I think something's wrong with that dress? 00:51:28.042 --> 00:51:29.084 Of course not. 00:51:29.167 --> 00:51:32.751 I haven't met a woman who didn't think there was something wrong with a dress. 00:51:36.167 --> 00:51:38.626 A woman who modelled it died. 00:51:39.376 --> 00:51:43.292 And? Half the clothes I bought in the charity shop are from people who died. 00:51:44.417 --> 00:51:47.042 Don't run yourself around all this hocus pocus. 00:51:47.126 --> 00:51:48.709 Personally, I like you in it. 00:51:49.667 --> 00:51:51.167 - Really? - Yeah, really. 00:51:51.667 --> 00:51:54.376 - You're not just saying that? - You look good in it. 00:51:55.376 --> 00:51:57.584 OK, you look good in most things, 00:51:58.084 --> 00:52:01.417 but that dress definitely shows you off. 00:52:04.542 --> 00:52:05.876 Put it on. 00:52:10.917 --> 00:52:13.501 Don't tell me you're scared of a dress? 00:54:46.459 --> 00:54:48.292 You don't want to go into town today? 00:54:48.376 --> 00:54:49.917 Oh, it's a nightmare on Saturdays. 00:54:50.001 --> 00:54:53.542 Why don't we stay here? You know, acclimatise you to Vince. 00:54:53.959 --> 00:54:55.292 No one's rushing you there. 00:54:56.251 --> 00:54:59.501 I just think it'll be good for him to see me back on my feet a little bit. 00:55:00.417 --> 00:55:02.251 He was a little short with me on the phone. 00:55:02.334 --> 00:55:04.376 He's in a bad way. 00:55:04.459 --> 00:55:06.459 The separation really got to him. 00:55:06.542 --> 00:55:09.126 Not helped by my ex trying to pit him against me. 00:55:09.209 --> 00:55:10.959 - Join the club. - Darren! 00:55:13.542 --> 00:55:16.001 - No! - Darren, get off! 00:55:16.084 --> 00:55:18.334 Get off! Get off, Darren! 00:55:19.751 --> 00:55:21.751 Darren, get off! 00:55:22.126 --> 00:55:26.501 - Get off! Get off! - My leg! 00:55:26.584 --> 00:55:28.001 Get it off! 00:55:29.709 --> 00:55:32.667 Darren, you bastard! Darren! 00:55:32.751 --> 00:55:35.709 Mum! 00:55:37.709 --> 00:55:39.209 - Mum! - Up here! 00:55:40.834 --> 00:55:42.584 Took me ages to get your stuff! 00:55:42.667 --> 00:55:45.959 They asked for my ID and everything then they gave me some punk's rucksack. 00:55:46.042 --> 00:55:47.376 I've no idea why they... 00:55:48.251 --> 00:55:50.834 Vince, this is Zach. 00:55:51.542 --> 00:55:53.084 A friend from work. 00:55:54.001 --> 00:55:55.084 Pleased to meet you. 00:55:55.167 --> 00:55:58.417 All right. Where do you want me to put these, then? 00:55:58.876 --> 00:56:01.459 No point, they're all ripped to pieces. 00:56:01.542 --> 00:56:04.542 Eh? This one's not ripped. 00:56:04.626 --> 00:56:08.292 - Of course it's ripped. - It's brand spanking new, almost. 00:56:12.084 --> 00:56:13.834 It should be ripped. 00:56:13.917 --> 00:56:16.751 The dog ripped it to pieces. It should be ripped! 00:56:16.834 --> 00:56:19.626 I tell you, it should be ripped! 00:57:14.459 --> 00:57:19.667 I have reached the dimension of remorse, Sheila Woolchapel. The dress. 00:57:19.751 --> 00:57:23.376 I can't claim with its reacceptance if its purchase is not evidenced. 00:57:23.459 --> 00:57:25.042 I had the receipt. 00:57:25.126 --> 00:57:26.792 I don't know where it's gone. 00:57:33.876 --> 00:57:36.459 Look, honestly, I don't need the refund. 00:57:36.542 --> 00:57:38.959 Just let me exchange it for something else. 00:57:39.042 --> 00:57:41.959 A casual exchange seldom expresses a lady's self-assurance 00:57:42.042 --> 00:57:47.959 - and her embodiment of fashion... - You know what? Just take the dress. 00:57:48.042 --> 00:57:50.709 I don't need anything back, just take it. 00:57:52.792 --> 00:57:56.459 Lamentations can be fairly addressed to Miss Kolliston. 00:57:56.959 --> 00:58:03.126 Distinction avows her noble hearing. Psst! Psst! 00:58:03.209 --> 00:58:04.417 Forget it. 00:58:15.417 --> 00:58:20.292 Like a whisper in an ocean, like a feather in a storm, 00:58:20.876 --> 00:58:27.376 a dress of deduction finds its character in a prism of retail abstraction. 00:58:28.459 --> 00:58:30.167 I don't understand. 00:58:31.376 --> 00:58:35.126 Miss Luckmoore experienced a transaction of ecstasy, 00:58:35.959 --> 00:58:39.501 and I ask if you could mutually sanctify her claim? 00:58:39.584 --> 00:58:45.001 Look, this is nothing personal, but I'm done with the sales, thank you. 00:58:45.084 --> 00:58:50.209 But your dismissal of such a prestigious consumerist festivity leaves me bereft. 00:58:51.209 --> 00:58:54.709 Did Miss Luckmoore engage with the doctrine of the store 00:58:54.792 --> 00:59:00.459 and did the experience consolidate your perception of the paradigm of retail? 00:59:01.042 --> 00:59:02.542 I've got to go back to work. 00:59:02.626 --> 00:59:06.001 Just a goodwill gesture for the inaugural consumer. 00:59:06.084 --> 00:59:10.209 A fantastic offer, I inferred to myself in jest. 00:59:11.084 --> 00:59:14.376 I just don't see why I couldn't return this dress. 00:59:14.459 --> 00:59:19.792 The very purpose of this seasonal retail occasion is to expunge. 00:59:20.167 --> 00:59:21.792 Returning what has already left 00:59:21.876 --> 00:59:25.834 the ladies' fashion boutique of Dentley and Soper's Trusted Department Store 00:59:25.917 --> 00:59:29.292 goes against the nature of things. 00:59:39.709 --> 00:59:41.792 Such a pretty dress. 00:59:47.876 --> 00:59:50.084 I hope Adonis complimented you. 00:59:58.084 --> 00:59:59.209 Pitcroft! 01:00:06.584 --> 01:00:09.126 How's your leg, Sheila? 01:00:10.876 --> 01:00:12.042 Better, thank you. 01:00:12.709 --> 01:00:13.917 Clive knows the local vet 01:00:14.001 --> 01:00:17.042 and he can confirm that he destroyed the dog on your behalf. 01:00:17.834 --> 01:00:19.292 He also wanted you to know 01:00:19.376 --> 01:00:22.584 that he took great pleasure in denying the dog its last biscuit. 01:00:23.751 --> 01:00:25.792 It must be a pain not being able to drive. 01:00:25.876 --> 01:00:28.459 The doctor reckons I can start back tomorrow. 01:00:28.542 --> 01:00:32.792 Oh, good, good. Um, Sheila, can we have a word? 01:00:34.917 --> 01:00:36.376 Of course. 01:00:43.709 --> 01:00:44.876 How was your weekend? 01:00:45.542 --> 01:00:46.959 Well, interesting. 01:00:47.042 --> 01:00:48.667 Anything nice in the sales? 01:00:48.751 --> 01:00:50.834 Just a dress, but that was the other week. 01:00:51.834 --> 01:00:53.042 Good bargains. 01:00:53.459 --> 01:00:56.417 Sheila, I was pleased to see your name down on the bowling list again. 01:00:56.501 --> 01:00:59.126 Even though I don't think you should be in Ruth's team, but still, 01:00:59.209 --> 01:01:01.959 we have a nice balance of numbers this month, so well done. 01:01:02.042 --> 01:01:03.459 Should be an interesting match. 01:01:03.542 --> 01:01:05.667 Yeah. Looking forward to it. 01:01:05.751 --> 01:01:09.709 Now, Sheila, we caught up with Pete Mathinson this morning. 01:01:09.792 --> 01:01:11.334 Really meaningful meeting, um... 01:01:11.417 --> 01:01:13.751 just reviewing where we're going with various things. 01:01:14.542 --> 01:01:18.001 He was very impressed with how you're getting on, all good. 01:01:18.084 --> 01:01:20.584 Only he mentioned that you waved at his mistress 01:01:20.667 --> 01:01:23.792 just by Landrake's tuck shop last weekend. 01:01:23.876 --> 01:01:26.126 Yeah, I remember, she waved back. 01:01:26.209 --> 01:01:30.876 Hm. You see, she asked Pete to call up a meeting about the incident 01:01:30.959 --> 01:01:32.959 and we all came to the conclusion 01:01:33.042 --> 01:01:37.667 that the waving can only be construed as informal salutation. 01:01:39.376 --> 01:01:41.084 I don't understand. 01:01:41.167 --> 01:01:44.584 Technically, the mistress of a boss is classified as a superior 01:01:44.667 --> 01:01:46.334 according to company policy, 01:01:46.417 --> 01:01:50.126 hence her surprise at such a casual mode of greeting. 01:01:50.209 --> 01:01:52.876 Yeah, she urged us to term it as insolent salutation 01:01:52.959 --> 01:01:55.251 but she gets ahead of herself sometimes. 01:01:55.334 --> 01:01:57.542 She smiled. She waved back! 01:01:57.626 --> 01:02:01.334 Sheila, when we worked at the other branch in town 01:02:01.417 --> 01:02:05.542 we had a member of staff very similar to you; diligent, hard working. 01:02:05.626 --> 01:02:09.917 Only, Clive and I noticed a core of the inscrutable about her. 01:02:10.001 --> 01:02:12.167 Not remotely on the Waingel's Wavelength. 01:02:12.251 --> 01:02:15.709 We didn't think anything of it until we discovered she was in the habit 01:02:15.792 --> 01:02:19.542 of injecting foolhardy substances into her bloodstream on a regular basis. 01:02:19.626 --> 01:02:22.209 Now we're not suggesting you're inclined that way. 01:02:22.292 --> 01:02:26.751 But nonetheless, a story shared and all that. 01:02:27.792 --> 01:02:30.459 And those mysterious toilet breaks before feeding time. 01:02:30.542 --> 01:02:33.292 One mysterious toilet break. 01:02:34.834 --> 01:02:36.876 You would tell us if there was something? 01:02:36.959 --> 01:02:39.751 Then we can keep Pete and the Police Force out of this. 01:02:39.834 --> 01:02:44.001 Well, it's just been busy with my son and the school holidays. 01:02:45.376 --> 01:02:47.834 What's wrong, Sheila? You can tell us. 01:02:47.917 --> 01:02:52.792 Nothing! Just a few bad sleeping dreams. 01:02:53.667 --> 01:02:55.126 Can you give us an example? 01:02:56.501 --> 01:03:01.251 Well, just this one the other night, um... 01:03:02.584 --> 01:03:06.917 I was very close to my mother, in real life, I mean. 01:03:07.917 --> 01:03:13.126 My father died when I was young and she and I grew even closer. 01:03:13.709 --> 01:03:15.334 I loved her dearly. 01:03:16.584 --> 01:03:21.417 I didn't have enough space to store all her things after she died, 01:03:21.501 --> 01:03:24.209 which always makes me sad. 01:03:24.917 --> 01:03:29.417 I gave everything to charity, but wished I'd kept something. 01:03:30.584 --> 01:03:34.667 But in this sleep, I found one of her old dresses. 01:03:35.209 --> 01:03:40.417 It smelt of her perfume, which I hadn't come across in years. 01:03:40.501 --> 01:03:44.167 Brought me right back, made everything feel all right again. 01:03:45.292 --> 01:03:50.042 I put the dress on and I looked in the mirror, 01:03:50.126 --> 01:03:51.876 but it wasn't me at all. 01:03:52.334 --> 01:03:55.001 It was my mother from the grave 01:03:55.084 --> 01:03:58.626 with the same jet-black dyed hair. 01:04:00.126 --> 01:04:02.751 I remember when she bought this dye. 01:04:02.834 --> 01:04:07.126 She was so fed up of the old ones dripping off in the rain, 01:04:07.209 --> 01:04:11.917 but this one was permanent. More than her flesh. 01:04:17.001 --> 01:04:22.376 I caught a bus and everyone hid under their seats when they saw me. 01:04:22.459 --> 01:04:23.876 Racists. 01:04:23.959 --> 01:04:26.876 I stank of my mother's corpse. 01:04:27.209 --> 01:04:30.126 The stench made the driver vomit 01:04:31.167 --> 01:04:35.376 and we went off a cliff and I woke up. 01:04:40.209 --> 01:04:41.917 And what colour was the bus? 01:04:42.459 --> 01:04:45.459 It was the colour of Thames Valley-on-Thames. 01:04:46.917 --> 01:04:49.876 Yeah, it was that colour. 01:05:07.834 --> 01:05:10.376 I'm dropping some stuff off at the charity shop 01:05:10.459 --> 01:05:12.876 if you've got anything that needs taking. 01:05:14.834 --> 01:05:17.292 Is that a yes or a no? 01:05:17.376 --> 01:05:18.709 Maybe! 01:05:19.209 --> 01:05:21.501 Well, you go on Monday, then. 01:05:21.584 --> 01:05:26.459 And don't forget to bring the stuff on the back seat. Yes? 01:05:27.126 --> 01:05:28.167 Yes! 01:05:28.251 --> 01:05:32.834 OK. I'll see you in the morning. I've left you some food in the fridge. 01:05:32.917 --> 01:05:34.209 Where are you going? 01:05:35.042 --> 01:05:37.042 I'm gonna stay with someone. 01:05:37.584 --> 01:05:39.417 What? You mean slaphead? 01:05:39.501 --> 01:05:41.417 His name's Zach. 01:05:42.209 --> 01:05:44.167 I thought you said he was a mate. 01:05:44.251 --> 01:05:46.876 Well, he's something more than that now. 01:05:57.167 --> 01:06:01.959 What I always do is, because I love queueing for the sales, 01:06:02.042 --> 01:06:07.167 I find it really exciting, and I have done it all night, actually. 01:06:07.251 --> 01:06:08.501 Yes, it's great fun. 01:06:08.584 --> 01:06:11.459 There's a great camaraderie, you know. 01:06:11.542 --> 01:06:14.251 And everybody's good. They keep your place 01:06:14.334 --> 01:06:17.751 while you go and get an all-night coffee or something like that. 01:06:17.834 --> 01:06:23.251 But the advice I always give, when you go in, don't follow the crowd, 01:06:23.334 --> 01:06:27.042 because they all go up the main central escalator. 01:06:27.751 --> 01:06:31.417 But I always dive to the side of the store 01:06:31.501 --> 01:06:35.876 where I know there's another staircase and run up there to the first floor 01:06:35.959 --> 01:06:40.751 because I know what I want because I'd been the week before 01:06:40.834 --> 01:06:44.084 and I knew I wanted this, you know, particular dress. 01:06:44.167 --> 01:06:45.959 And there it was... 01:08:21.542 --> 01:08:27.084 You've reached 01632 960786. 01:08:27.167 --> 01:08:31.251 I'm not in right now, but if you leave a message I'll get straight back to you. 01:08:32.501 --> 01:08:34.667 Pick up the phone, it's the Police Force. 01:08:34.751 --> 01:08:36.542 Pick up the phone this instant. 01:09:00.126 --> 01:09:02.542 If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. 01:09:02.626 --> 01:09:03.959 Oh, thank you. 01:09:09.751 --> 01:09:11.917 Oh, that does look nice on you. 01:09:12.001 --> 01:09:14.542 Really? I might freeze to death in this. 01:09:14.626 --> 01:09:17.834 Think about your summer cruise along the Adriatic 01:09:17.917 --> 01:09:19.917 with the breeze running through that dress 01:09:20.001 --> 01:09:23.626 as you sip your sparkling wine with the captain on deck. 01:09:32.334 --> 01:09:34.876 I can't afford a cruise this summer. 01:09:35.667 --> 01:09:37.751 Well, if you need any help, just let me know. 01:09:37.834 --> 01:09:39.209 Thank you. 01:09:46.709 --> 01:09:48.751 All right, mate. Just that, please. 01:10:08.584 --> 01:10:13.084 Welcome to Amesos, dear guest. My name is Sandro. And you are? 01:10:13.376 --> 01:10:14.959 Uh... Reg Speaks. 01:10:15.042 --> 01:10:16.834 May I take your lucky order? 01:10:17.626 --> 01:10:19.834 Just a kebab will be fine. And chips. 01:10:19.917 --> 01:10:21.626 Kebab and chips, instantly. 01:10:21.709 --> 01:10:26.876 Uh... Sorry, no bags on the table. Is not nice. And drinks? 01:10:27.292 --> 01:10:31.959 Reggie! 01:10:32.042 --> 01:10:37.251 Down it! Down it! Down it! Down it! Down it! 01:10:37.334 --> 01:10:39.292 Oi, oi! 01:10:39.376 --> 01:10:40.542 I'm soaked! 01:10:40.626 --> 01:10:42.917 Never mind, Reg. Never mind. 01:10:43.001 --> 01:10:48.542 As your best man, I come equipped, excuse me, for every eventuality. 01:10:48.626 --> 01:10:52.959 You need new clothing? Look no further. 01:10:53.042 --> 01:10:55.042 I always knew you had a feminine side. 01:10:55.126 --> 01:10:58.001 What choice has he got with Babs around? 01:10:58.084 --> 01:11:01.501 Well, don't just look at it. I didn't just buy it for the missus, you know! 01:11:01.584 --> 01:11:04.501 - I can't put it on in here. - "I can't put it on in here." 01:11:04.584 --> 01:11:06.018 - Go on, get it on. - It won't fit me. 01:11:06.042 --> 01:11:08.126 It'll fit you, don't worry about that, go on. 01:11:08.209 --> 01:11:10.334 Yeah, come on, you big girl's blouse, get it on! 01:11:10.417 --> 01:11:13.376 Come on, Reg! Don't let the side down! 01:12:16.459 --> 01:12:18.334 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 01:12:18.417 --> 01:12:21.334 - Wait, where's the dummy? - Oi! Clipper! 01:12:27.251 --> 01:12:28.667 Speech! Speech 01:12:28.751 --> 01:12:33.542 Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! 01:12:33.626 --> 01:12:36.042 Oh, you bloody tosspot. I'll do it, all right? 01:12:36.126 --> 01:12:39.626 Reg here has been hanging around my house, 01:12:39.709 --> 01:12:44.751 or more specifically, my daughter's bedroom, since he was 17. 01:12:44.834 --> 01:12:47.084 Now we all love Reg, don't we? Don't we? 01:12:47.959 --> 01:12:51.709 I mean, he always gets a round in, good at five-a-side, 01:12:51.792 --> 01:12:55.792 and I gotta say, he's always good around Babs. 01:12:57.001 --> 01:12:58.792 And that ain't no easy task. 01:12:58.876 --> 01:13:00.459 You can say that again. 01:13:00.542 --> 01:13:03.834 But seriously, we've got a good 'un here. 01:13:04.751 --> 01:13:06.334 He's solid, our Reg. 01:13:07.876 --> 01:13:12.334 But if you ever, ever mess with my Babs, 01:13:12.417 --> 01:13:15.626 I'll take you straight down, make no mistake. You got that? 01:13:16.834 --> 01:13:18.501 Steady on, Bananas. 01:13:18.584 --> 01:13:22.209 No, no, it has to be said. Best to get it out of the way now. 01:13:22.292 --> 01:13:25.167 Now come on, son. Give us a hug! 01:13:25.251 --> 01:13:30.709 - No, no, no, come on, that's enough! - Reg Speaks! I salute you! 01:13:30.792 --> 01:13:33.376 - To Reg and Babs! - To Reg and Babs! 01:13:33.459 --> 01:13:35.792 And here's to your first divorce! 01:13:35.876 --> 01:13:37.709 Oi, oi! Less of that, all right? 01:14:55.626 --> 01:14:59.042 But he doesn't have to roll his eyes at every suggestion I make. 01:14:59.126 --> 01:15:02.251 It's always this "I know better" attitude whenever I deal with Andre. 01:15:02.334 --> 01:15:05.959 At this rate, I'll get Reg to DJ, assuming he recovers. 01:15:06.042 --> 01:15:08.334 It's a chamber of booze and methane in here. 01:15:08.417 --> 01:15:10.584 I'm surprised it hasn't killed the canary. 01:15:11.917 --> 01:15:13.251 No idea. 01:15:14.126 --> 01:15:17.292 He'll stuff it down him and it's always the same. He never puts on any weight. 01:15:17.376 --> 01:15:20.251 No idea how the jammy bastard does it. It's so unfair. 01:15:21.751 --> 01:15:25.084 Look, let me know if Andre is willing to be more flexible with the music 01:15:25.167 --> 01:15:27.709 otherwise we don't pay. Simple as that. 01:15:28.459 --> 01:15:30.334 Exactly. See you later. 01:15:41.209 --> 01:15:44.542 Oi! Stop squeezing my spots, yeah? 01:15:44.626 --> 01:15:46.042 Knew that would wake you. 01:15:46.126 --> 01:15:47.834 Just ease it on, Babs. 01:15:47.917 --> 01:15:49.834 Good night, then? 01:15:50.251 --> 01:15:53.209 Wish I had a tape of you banging on about how you weren't gonna drink. 01:15:53.292 --> 01:15:56.126 It's not the drink, it's just a dirty kebab. 01:15:56.209 --> 01:15:59.251 Yeah, right. Don't know why you hang out with that lot. 01:15:59.334 --> 01:16:01.042 You know what they'll get you into. 01:16:01.126 --> 01:16:04.376 We didn't do anything. It's just a dirty kebab. 01:16:04.459 --> 01:16:06.792 Dirty kebab my arse, Reg Speaks. 01:16:06.876 --> 01:16:09.334 All you had to do was not accept the drinks. 01:16:09.417 --> 01:16:11.542 I didn't want to let the side down. 01:16:12.542 --> 01:16:14.376 You gonna lay in bed like that all day? 01:16:16.417 --> 01:16:19.167 You know Andre now wants to do a soundcheck? 01:16:23.334 --> 01:16:25.542 What's a... What's a soundcheck? 01:16:25.626 --> 01:16:27.209 He wants to check all the gear. 01:16:27.292 --> 01:16:30.584 He says it takes three hours. It's gonna cut right through the wedding. 01:16:30.667 --> 01:16:32.876 It's just playing records, innit? 01:16:32.959 --> 01:16:34.667 Well, you speak to him, then. 01:16:34.751 --> 01:16:37.417 I can't deal with that weasel-mouthed diva any more. 01:16:37.501 --> 01:16:38.917 Every time I question something, 01:16:39.001 --> 01:16:41.667 he just comes back at me claiming he's a perfectionist. 01:16:41.751 --> 01:16:43.084 Not now, yeah? 01:16:45.001 --> 01:16:47.792 - What's that? - Huh? What? 01:16:57.459 --> 01:17:00.501 Oi! Cottrell wants to take you on. 01:17:00.584 --> 01:17:02.209 About what? 01:17:02.292 --> 01:17:04.126 You didn't invite him to the stag. 01:17:04.209 --> 01:17:07.459 But, I-I didn't think it was his thing. 01:17:08.417 --> 01:17:10.417 You try telling that to Cottrell. 01:17:36.334 --> 01:17:38.126 Gary said you wanted to see me. 01:18:02.126 --> 01:18:05.834 So how long's it gonna take to get that spare whatever you call it? 01:18:05.917 --> 01:18:09.376 - Probably about ten days. - Ten days? 01:18:10.376 --> 01:18:13.376 Well, could be sooner if I can get one of my colleagues to drop it over. 01:18:13.459 --> 01:18:16.209 - Too busy to do it yourself? - I'll be on my honeymoon then. 01:18:16.292 --> 01:18:19.459 Honeymoon? Oh. Congratulations. 01:18:19.542 --> 01:18:22.501 And what's the destination? Tenerife? 01:18:22.584 --> 01:18:25.584 Uh, Lost John's Cave. Up in Lancs. 01:18:26.376 --> 01:18:29.084 - The wife's got a thing about caves. - Oh. 01:18:29.167 --> 01:18:32.501 - Already calling her the wife? - She's called me worse. 01:18:32.584 --> 01:18:34.584 And what's the wife's name? 01:18:35.709 --> 01:18:39.834 Her name's Babs. She works at Ambrook's Razors, dispatch manager. 01:18:39.917 --> 01:18:42.959 Ambrook's? Yeah, my sister used to go out with a bloke from Ambrook's. 01:18:43.042 --> 01:18:44.292 Really nice fella, too. 01:18:44.376 --> 01:18:46.834 Oh, that, um... that must be Phil Keeble. 01:18:46.917 --> 01:18:49.292 Why? No one else nice at Ambrook's? 01:18:51.042 --> 01:18:52.709 What's your fiancée like? 01:18:53.792 --> 01:18:55.292 She's all right, yeah. 01:18:55.751 --> 01:18:57.251 How long have you been together? 01:18:57.334 --> 01:18:59.792 Fourteen, fifteen years. Something like that. 01:18:59.876 --> 01:19:01.626 Why get married now? 01:19:02.417 --> 01:19:06.167 I dunno. It's just always been Babs. 01:19:06.584 --> 01:19:08.334 You've never been out with anyone else? 01:19:08.417 --> 01:19:10.709 - No. - Never tempted? 01:19:12.042 --> 01:19:13.501 Not really. It's just Babs. 01:19:13.584 --> 01:19:16.001 You're telling me you never ever get tempted? 01:19:16.084 --> 01:19:19.626 You never even look at another woman walking down the street? 01:19:21.792 --> 01:19:25.018 I can see there's also a problem with the way the belt rides over the pump pulley. 01:19:25.042 --> 01:19:26.751 Small-talk time's up, then? 01:19:27.542 --> 01:19:29.751 I've got Mrs Beckley up the road at five. 01:19:30.209 --> 01:19:31.584 Really? 01:19:33.334 --> 01:19:35.251 What's your name, young sir? 01:19:36.542 --> 01:19:38.459 Uh, Reg Speaks. 01:19:39.417 --> 01:19:41.042 Reg Speaks. 01:19:42.959 --> 01:19:46.042 My ex-husband used to say he never looked at other women. 01:19:46.126 --> 01:19:50.084 He's probably selling the same lie to his new wife as we speak. 01:19:50.626 --> 01:19:53.792 What I'd give to know what goes on in the male mind. 01:19:55.001 --> 01:19:56.917 Any thoughts? 01:19:58.126 --> 01:20:01.292 It doesn't ride properly over the transmission drive. 01:20:01.917 --> 01:20:03.542 All that tension on the belt 01:20:03.626 --> 01:20:06.334 is creating havoc with the washers on the clutch shaft. 01:20:07.667 --> 01:20:09.917 The transmission mounting bolts have come loose, 01:20:10.001 --> 01:20:12.209 which might have been affecting the washer. 01:20:12.292 --> 01:20:15.917 The clutch assembly seems to have lost connection with the low-speed solenoid, 01:20:16.001 --> 01:20:19.042 but I can check the motor wiring at the transmission block. 01:20:19.876 --> 01:20:23.542 The agitator hub seems to be intact along with the transmission shaft, 01:20:24.251 --> 01:20:27.251 but the plungers are no longer fitting into the wigwags. 01:20:28.126 --> 01:20:30.167 If you let me have a look at the wigwag terminals, 01:20:30.251 --> 01:20:32.584 I can be more specific about the problem, 01:20:33.126 --> 01:20:34.126 but looking at it now, 01:20:34.209 --> 01:20:37.376 I can see the wigwag drive shaft is no longer working... 01:20:42.751 --> 01:20:44.751 Why did you invite Chris Dale to the wedding? 01:20:44.834 --> 01:20:46.001 Not now. 01:20:46.084 --> 01:20:48.584 In other words, yet another pointless guest of yours. 01:20:48.667 --> 01:20:51.376 - He taught me judo. - Yeah, when you were 17 01:20:51.459 --> 01:20:55.042 and even then you legged it when Roj Lines wanted your dinner money! 01:20:55.126 --> 01:20:58.626 Half the people on that list never bothered to invite us to their weddings. 01:20:58.709 --> 01:21:00.501 And you can definitely drop Greg and Tina. 01:21:00.584 --> 01:21:03.417 - Why? - Because they invited themselves! 01:21:03.501 --> 01:21:06.542 Other thing with them is that opens the door to Dave and Sarah, 01:21:06.626 --> 01:21:09.959 Justin and Linda, Nick and Charlie, and Adrian and Russ. 01:21:10.042 --> 01:21:11.084 Invite Greg and Tina 01:21:11.167 --> 01:21:13.959 and you automatically have to invite those jokers as well. 01:21:14.042 --> 01:21:15.334 Nip it in the bud. 01:21:16.501 --> 01:21:18.167 - Are you listening? - Yes! 01:22:12.292 --> 01:22:13.334 Look. 01:22:16.376 --> 01:22:17.417 What do you think? 01:22:18.959 --> 01:22:20.542 It's all right, yeah. 01:22:20.626 --> 01:22:22.834 Wash the stink out and it could be all right on me. 01:22:23.626 --> 01:22:24.751 You like me in it? 01:22:24.834 --> 01:22:28.459 Yeah. Maybe try it with some tights. 01:22:28.917 --> 01:22:29.917 Why? 01:22:30.959 --> 01:22:33.917 I dunno. It's a bit nippy out there. 01:22:34.001 --> 01:22:36.751 I've told you a million times, they make my legs itch. 01:22:36.834 --> 01:22:38.792 You don't need anything else with this. 01:22:38.876 --> 01:22:40.501 It's fine by itself, look. 01:22:41.292 --> 01:22:43.167 Where did Clipper get it from? 01:22:43.251 --> 01:22:45.251 Some shop or other, I dunno. 01:22:45.334 --> 01:22:47.126 It's a size 36. 01:22:48.626 --> 01:22:50.001 How come you fit into it? 01:22:50.084 --> 01:22:51.251 Yeah. 01:22:51.667 --> 01:22:53.334 - You listening? - I like it, yeah! 01:22:53.417 --> 01:22:57.542 You don't get it, do you? How comes you fit into a size 36? 01:23:09.209 --> 01:23:10.792 Reg! 01:23:13.584 --> 01:23:16.751 - Not the fleece! - It stinks! Wear the other one. 01:23:21.542 --> 01:23:25.334 Like a whisper in an ocean, like a feather in a storm, 01:23:25.417 --> 01:23:31.167 a dress of deduction finds its character in a prism of retail abstraction. 01:23:31.251 --> 01:23:34.084 See? It's a 38 and it's tight. 01:23:34.167 --> 01:23:37.084 - Get a size up, then. - So, you think it's tight? 01:23:38.126 --> 01:23:41.292 No, I thought that's what you just said. 01:23:47.584 --> 01:23:49.126 Bloody useless. 01:24:09.876 --> 01:24:15.917 Villainy! Now the horrid repercussions will abate your rank, madam! 01:24:22.167 --> 01:24:23.251 You! 01:24:27.792 --> 01:24:30.959 Over 45 minutes they had me on hold and then the line goes dead. 01:24:31.042 --> 01:24:32.626 That's my whole lunch break gone. 01:24:32.709 --> 01:24:34.602 You could've had your sandwiches while you were on hold. 01:24:34.626 --> 01:24:37.167 How am I supposed to eat if I'm all worked up like that? 01:24:37.251 --> 01:24:39.501 I should've never gone for that store card. 01:24:39.584 --> 01:24:42.126 All that bloody hassle just for a stupid free umbrella 01:24:42.209 --> 01:24:44.209 which you ended up losing. 01:24:44.292 --> 01:24:46.209 Even when I went in there to try and cancel it, 01:24:46.292 --> 01:24:48.459 the woman kept me waiting for 30 minutes. 01:24:48.542 --> 01:24:50.542 No apology, nothing. 01:24:51.251 --> 01:24:52.292 Reg? 01:24:54.417 --> 01:24:58.001 Reg? Reg, are you listening? 01:24:59.334 --> 01:25:00.667 Reg? 01:25:04.292 --> 01:25:06.709 Let me just try this on you. 01:25:06.792 --> 01:25:08.126 See if it fits. 01:25:11.542 --> 01:25:14.584 There, that'll keep you warm and cosy. 01:25:15.584 --> 01:25:19.876 He's very patient, isn't he? Not like most of the boys we get in here. 01:25:20.501 --> 01:25:22.209 What's your name, young sir? 01:25:22.292 --> 01:25:25.917 Reginald! Get a move on or we're going to miss the badminton. 01:25:28.792 --> 01:25:30.352 You need to ask Clipper where he got it from. 01:25:30.376 --> 01:25:32.167 Knowing him, it's some second-hand shop. 01:25:32.251 --> 01:25:33.751 What's that got to do with it? 01:25:33.834 --> 01:25:36.834 Think about it! We both got the same rash, we both wore the dress. 01:25:36.917 --> 01:25:39.376 You never heard of scabies? 01:25:39.459 --> 01:25:42.501 Reg? Reg! 01:25:43.417 --> 01:25:44.709 What? 01:25:56.042 --> 01:25:59.417 - You think we'll need a new one? - Hopefully not. Let's see, yeah? 01:25:59.501 --> 01:26:02.876 - What was wrong with it? - Basket drive went bananas. 01:26:03.501 --> 01:26:04.501 The basket drive? 01:26:04.584 --> 01:26:08.209 Yeah, the basket drive. Just went bananas. 01:26:08.292 --> 01:26:10.459 And the spin tube bearings are knackered. 01:26:11.084 --> 01:26:13.417 I tried to check the clutch surface for any damage 01:26:13.501 --> 01:26:16.876 and found that the rivets were rubbing up against the clutch pulley. 01:26:16.959 --> 01:26:20.084 There's also the possibility that the drain hose is kinked, 01:26:20.167 --> 01:26:23.959 but I can put that into writing for you after a more thorough inspection. 01:26:25.042 --> 01:26:27.417 The clutch plate is no longer a plate 01:26:27.501 --> 01:26:31.042 and the switch striker is neither switching nor striking. 01:26:31.126 --> 01:26:32.876 If I can get to the wigwag solenoid, 01:26:32.959 --> 01:26:35.792 there is a chance I can find out why the washer didn't drain. 01:26:36.751 --> 01:26:40.751 The blocked pump isn't helping matters and the agitator leaves me at a loss. 01:26:42.501 --> 01:26:46.542 I can also see that the wigwag terminals are not where they're supposed to be, 01:26:46.626 --> 01:26:48.001 which leads me to the conclusion 01:26:48.084 --> 01:26:50.334 that this washing machine is dysfunctional... 01:27:50.876 --> 01:27:55.167 - Oi! Cottrell's looking for you. - What now? 01:27:55.251 --> 01:28:00.417 One of your neighbours reported you. Just tell me you didn't do it. 01:28:00.501 --> 01:28:02.584 I had to, it was an emergency. 01:28:02.667 --> 01:28:04.584 You know the rules, Reg! 01:28:04.667 --> 01:28:08.126 You fix your own machine, it still has to go through the books. 01:28:08.209 --> 01:28:12.542 - I bought my own spare parts. - And? Who paid for your training? 01:28:13.792 --> 01:28:16.834 You've really let the side down, do you know that? 01:28:16.917 --> 01:28:20.209 Now get in there before Cottrell takes me on as well. 01:30:18.542 --> 01:30:20.917 I've had it with Andre. 01:30:21.001 --> 01:30:22.209 If he vetoes one more song, 01:30:22.292 --> 01:30:24.917 I'm gonna stick that turntable up his miserable backside! 01:30:25.001 --> 01:30:27.042 Where'd you learn to talk like that? 01:30:27.126 --> 01:30:30.084 Oh, it's easy for you to say. You're not the one having to deal with him. 01:30:30.167 --> 01:30:34.376 Every time I say no to something, he just says, "Why? Why? Why?" 01:30:34.459 --> 01:30:36.792 Maybe I can make a compilation tape. 01:30:36.876 --> 01:30:39.042 - Save us a bit of money too. - You're joking, right? 01:30:39.126 --> 01:30:41.501 Your record collection wouldn't even get a flea jumping. 01:30:41.584 --> 01:30:44.084 Ease it on, Babs. I'm only trying to help. 01:30:47.084 --> 01:30:48.709 What's this doing down here? 01:30:51.042 --> 01:30:52.792 Sorry, I didn't see that there. 01:30:57.751 --> 01:30:59.876 - What are you doing? They stay there. - Why? 01:31:03.292 --> 01:31:05.768 Now come in the kitchen you two. I've got a cheesecake for you both. 01:31:05.792 --> 01:31:07.292 Oh, lovely. Cheers, darling. 01:31:11.459 --> 01:31:12.584 You're not worried? 01:31:13.542 --> 01:31:15.876 - About what? - That. 01:31:17.334 --> 01:31:19.709 It's probably just the washing powder we use. 01:31:19.792 --> 01:31:22.042 - You don't think it's scabies? - No. 01:31:22.126 --> 01:31:23.876 - An allergy? - No. 01:31:25.251 --> 01:31:28.626 - Something venereal? - You tell me. 01:31:28.709 --> 01:31:30.917 - I haven't slept around. - Me neither. 01:31:32.334 --> 01:31:34.584 - Does that mean you love me, then? - Yeah. 01:32:05.542 --> 01:32:07.417 She's asphyxiated. 01:32:07.501 --> 01:32:09.417 How can a dress asphyxiate it? 01:32:09.501 --> 01:32:12.876 Well, how else did she die? She's barely a year old. 01:32:12.959 --> 01:32:16.126 - Could be carbon monoxide. - We'd be dead then. 01:32:16.209 --> 01:32:20.167 - Not if it's a small leak. - You're scaring me now. 01:32:20.251 --> 01:32:22.917 I'll come back and take a look on my lunch break. 01:32:23.001 --> 01:32:25.792 No way can you get home and back in an hour. 01:32:25.876 --> 01:32:28.209 Go off to work. I'll look at it during lunch. 01:32:28.876 --> 01:32:31.417 - If the flame turns orange, call me. - Yeah, yeah. 01:32:33.292 --> 01:32:34.459 What are you doing? 01:32:35.334 --> 01:32:37.042 Uh... You're going to be late. 01:32:38.167 --> 01:32:41.709 Go! Before Cottrell shoves a firework up your backside. 01:32:45.084 --> 01:32:47.876 Reg, go! I've got to do my hair. 01:32:53.251 --> 01:32:54.709 Thanks for coming in, Reg. 01:32:54.792 --> 01:32:57.042 When our neighbour heard you were coming in for a loan, 01:32:57.126 --> 01:32:59.917 - he wanted to pass on his greetings. - Oh, who was that? 01:33:00.001 --> 01:33:02.126 Mr Watlington, your physics teacher. 01:33:02.209 --> 01:33:03.209 Oh, right. 01:33:03.292 --> 01:33:06.292 He also wanted to pass on his apologies for hitting you so often. 01:33:06.376 --> 01:33:07.376 It's OK. 01:33:07.459 --> 01:33:09.501 It was a bit of a Reg Speaks evening, in fact. 01:33:09.584 --> 01:33:12.917 He kept telling us about you at school, 01:33:13.001 --> 01:33:16.251 and to tell you the truth, he was sad to hear about your finances 01:33:16.334 --> 01:33:18.251 when we showed him your loan application. 01:33:18.667 --> 01:33:20.251 Now, with that in mind, of course, 01:33:20.334 --> 01:33:23.334 we'd love to consider your thoughtful request. 01:33:23.417 --> 01:33:25.667 But given that Staverton's kicked you out, 01:33:25.751 --> 01:33:27.876 we're somewhat reluctant to sign it off. 01:33:27.959 --> 01:33:29.917 What about here? I heard there was a job going. 01:33:30.001 --> 01:33:31.959 Sorry, that's taken, I'm afraid. 01:33:32.042 --> 01:33:35.018 Though I did see a sign at Dentley and Soper's saying they were looking for someone 01:33:35.042 --> 01:33:37.792 in the male alliance of clothing and costume. 01:33:37.876 --> 01:33:39.792 No, no, but looking in the sense 01:33:39.876 --> 01:33:41.834 - that one of the staff has disappeared. - Oh. 01:33:41.917 --> 01:33:44.751 They're just trying to find him. They're not advertising a job. 01:33:44.834 --> 01:33:47.376 Oh, silly me. It's my mistake. 01:34:09.459 --> 01:34:13.334 Now, the only loan we can offer is the deferred employment package. 01:34:13.417 --> 01:34:14.501 DEP. 01:34:14.584 --> 01:34:16.584 It's what we like to call a motivational loan. 01:34:16.667 --> 01:34:18.542 It helps our customers get back on their feet 01:34:18.626 --> 01:34:20.917 and back into the job market. 01:34:21.001 --> 01:34:22.876 With that kind of interest rate? 01:34:22.959 --> 01:34:24.626 That's just advisory. 01:34:25.917 --> 01:34:32.084 Reg, Clive and I had someone over from Staverton's a few years back 01:34:32.167 --> 01:34:33.834 and we still think a lot about 01:34:33.917 --> 01:34:37.126 how nicely he talked us through the whole process of fixing our machine. 01:34:37.209 --> 01:34:40.834 And we thought seeing as we'll be having Reg Speaks in the room, 01:34:40.917 --> 01:34:43.209 maybe he could do something similar for us? 01:34:44.334 --> 01:34:46.209 It would mean a lot to us, Reg. 01:34:46.709 --> 01:34:48.417 But there's no machine here. 01:34:49.001 --> 01:34:50.792 You could pretend there's one. 01:34:50.876 --> 01:34:52.709 Nobody needs to know. 01:34:52.792 --> 01:34:54.209 But I can't just... 01:34:54.292 --> 01:34:58.251 Just try. Then we can look at more favourable rates for you. 01:34:59.626 --> 01:35:00.667 It'll be fun. 01:35:04.626 --> 01:35:05.792 Um... 01:35:09.542 --> 01:35:12.584 Plungers on old machines tend to stop retracting, 01:35:12.667 --> 01:35:15.126 which means a knock-on effect with the washer. 01:35:17.792 --> 01:35:20.709 A-Also the belt drive had come off. 01:35:24.042 --> 01:35:30.334 The inlet valve might have been blocked, but I can't verify that. 01:35:30.417 --> 01:35:32.167 It s-seems... 01:35:32.251 --> 01:35:35.626 It's OK. It's OK, Reg. No one's forcing you. 01:35:37.792 --> 01:35:40.626 If it helps. we could kick it off in a role-play scenario. 01:35:40.917 --> 01:35:43.834 Yeah. A lot of loan applicants find our Tudor courtroom scenario 01:35:43.917 --> 01:35:45.209 puts them at ease. 01:35:45.292 --> 01:35:47.167 Clothes still needed washing then. 01:35:47.251 --> 01:35:48.584 That's right. 01:35:52.542 --> 01:35:53.876 What's the matter, Reg? 01:35:53.959 --> 01:35:56.834 You spoke so clearly and nicely when you first came in. 01:35:56.917 --> 01:35:59.042 Oh, no, um, nothing. 01:35:59.126 --> 01:36:02.126 I-I'm just a bit tender these days, that's all. 01:36:04.001 --> 01:36:05.126 How come? 01:36:06.501 --> 01:36:11.834 Just a sleeping dream I had last night. It's been on my mind all day. 01:36:12.917 --> 01:36:14.292 Interesting. 01:36:14.376 --> 01:36:18.792 We're here for you Reg. Sometimes it can help to discuss these things. 01:36:21.542 --> 01:36:26.876 Well, Babs, my fiancée, was in labour. 01:36:26.959 --> 01:36:29.917 I was late, so at that point, the door was locked. 01:36:32.542 --> 01:36:35.417 I tried to take on her pain just to make her feel better. 01:36:47.084 --> 01:36:49.376 I kept screaming to show how much I cared, 01:36:49.459 --> 01:36:52.126 but it just seemed to annoy everyone. 01:36:53.792 --> 01:36:56.917 I kept knocking on the window in the hope that they'd let me in. 01:37:05.459 --> 01:37:09.417 The baby came out of Babs in this dress that looked exactly the same 01:37:09.501 --> 01:37:11.709 as the one I wore on my stag night at ZinZan's. 01:37:12.876 --> 01:37:16.417 I wanted to wave at my little girl, but she wasn't having it. 01:37:18.126 --> 01:37:20.959 She made it clear that I should sling my hook. 01:37:27.751 --> 01:37:30.334 - What was her name? - Babs Junior. 01:37:31.959 --> 01:37:32.959 Interesting. 01:37:33.042 --> 01:37:36.959 Reminds me of a dream Stash and I had when we put the sand dunes in the wash. 01:37:37.042 --> 01:37:41.459 Oh, yeah, that. Kept bypassing the spin cycle, I remember now. 01:37:42.084 --> 01:37:43.251 Was it an old machine? 01:37:43.334 --> 01:37:45.792 No, no, it was brand new. Wasn't it, Stash? 01:37:45.876 --> 01:37:47.626 Yeah, very strange. 01:37:47.709 --> 01:37:50.834 Did you check the belt if it was broken or loose? 01:37:50.917 --> 01:37:52.792 That could have been the problem with it. 01:37:52.876 --> 01:37:56.917 That's what we were wondering, but maybe it was something else. 01:37:57.001 --> 01:37:58.251 What do you think, Reg? 01:37:59.376 --> 01:38:02.667 It's probably a problem with the wigwag and its rotational pull. 01:38:03.376 --> 01:38:06.501 Plungers on doors sometimes don't align with the seal, 01:38:06.584 --> 01:38:08.751 but the lid switch is often to blame. 01:38:09.542 --> 01:38:12.501 The inner tub might've sustained serious dents 01:38:12.584 --> 01:38:15.459 resulting in the belt drive loosening or coming off, 01:38:16.042 --> 01:38:18.834 but that's usually a problem with older machines. 01:38:19.667 --> 01:38:23.501 The lid switch and its actuator, the motor coupler or door lock assembly 01:38:23.584 --> 01:38:27.542 are the first things to check when a new machine bypasses the spin cycle. 01:38:28.834 --> 01:38:32.209 The agitator drive shaft and spin tube linked to the transmission 01:38:32.292 --> 01:38:34.667 can come loose from the tub struts. 01:38:35.334 --> 01:38:37.542 If the helix doesn't release the brake 01:38:37.626 --> 01:38:40.501 and the belt tensioner doesn't allow slippage... 01:40:03.167 --> 01:40:04.209 Imagine, 01:40:04.292 --> 01:40:08.376 trading will cease at a premature hour on this, the twelfth day of sales. 01:40:08.917 --> 01:40:11.126 There lie other boutiques to your discernment. 01:40:11.209 --> 01:40:12.417 But I'm in the store now. 01:40:12.501 --> 01:40:15.876 You can't just turf me out. Customer rules and all that. 01:40:15.959 --> 01:40:18.584 You must conclude your perusal immediately, then. 01:40:18.667 --> 01:40:21.792 Excuse me? I've worked in retail. 01:40:21.876 --> 01:40:23.751 Once the customer steps through the door, 01:40:23.834 --> 01:40:27.251 you see it through to the last. That's what I had to do. 01:40:27.334 --> 01:40:30.834 The doors you passed through are doors in perpetual revolve 01:40:30.917 --> 01:40:33.167 and thus not a veritable indication 01:40:33.251 --> 01:40:35.792 of the time in which you thought you might have set heel 01:40:35.876 --> 01:40:39.792 in Dentley and Soper's Trusted Department Store, mate. 01:40:39.876 --> 01:40:41.334 You call those doors revolving? 01:40:41.417 --> 01:40:42.459 Hm-hmm. 01:40:42.542 --> 01:40:44.959 Listen, I'm here to choose a dress, yeah? 01:40:45.042 --> 01:40:48.917 Pick something up, try it on, pay for it, and then leave you in peace. 01:40:49.001 --> 01:40:52.209 By the time you've thought of another excuse to get me out, I'll be done, 01:40:52.292 --> 01:40:53.417 mate! 01:40:55.167 --> 01:40:59.876 This dress. So shabby, so unkempt. 01:40:59.959 --> 01:41:04.626 We have rules here about presentation, about hygiene, about conduct. 01:41:05.376 --> 01:41:07.376 A required pedigree of shopping 01:41:07.459 --> 01:41:10.917 is an aspiration we flowerfully seal to our hearts. 01:41:11.001 --> 01:41:15.042 Please, return in a different dress and we will welcome you back. 01:41:15.917 --> 01:41:18.959 If you let me buy a new dress, I will. 01:41:19.042 --> 01:41:20.167 Psst! 01:41:43.209 --> 01:41:48.376 I now announce you extension time. Congratulations. 01:41:49.292 --> 01:41:51.209 I never thought I'd say this, 01:41:51.292 --> 01:41:53.501 but you lot could all do with a good shag. 01:43:11.626 --> 01:43:15.501 Such an intimate document of finesse and joy. 01:43:15.584 --> 01:43:18.459 Nice to see a catalogue with ladies bigger than me for once. 01:43:19.209 --> 01:43:21.959 Pray tell, your measurements would be? 01:43:23.792 --> 01:43:26.417 - Guess. - Thirty-six. 01:43:27.667 --> 01:43:30.167 - Really? - Thirty-six. 01:43:31.334 --> 01:43:32.626 You're not just saying that? 01:43:32.959 --> 01:43:34.126 Thirty-six. 01:43:34.917 --> 01:43:39.626 Thirty-six. I had a sleeping dream I was a size thirty-six. 01:43:40.751 --> 01:43:43.126 And I went out with my friends to ZinZan's to celebrate, 01:43:43.209 --> 01:43:45.376 but it wasn't ZinZan's. 01:43:46.084 --> 01:43:47.417 It was here. 01:43:48.876 --> 01:43:50.376 That was where it was. 01:43:51.584 --> 01:43:55.167 It was in this room and in this catalogue. 01:43:55.959 --> 01:43:59.376 Every image was of me in this slip getting skinnier and skinnier, 01:43:59.459 --> 01:44:01.417 but the measurements written next to me 01:44:01.501 --> 01:44:03.042 were getting bigger and bigger. 01:44:03.542 --> 01:44:05.626 I rang the staff bell for assistance. 01:44:06.501 --> 01:44:08.959 Two ladies came to my aid and told me 01:44:09.042 --> 01:44:10.501 to put my head between my knees 01:44:10.584 --> 01:44:12.626 whilst they tried to correct the catalogue. 01:44:14.334 --> 01:44:17.376 36, 38. 01:44:20.751 --> 01:44:22.251 36, 38. 01:44:23.667 --> 01:44:25.209 36, 38. 01:44:26.626 --> 01:44:28.542 36, 38. 01:44:42.876 --> 01:44:45.126 36, 38. 01:44:49.084 --> 01:44:51.126 36, 38. 01:45:26.917 --> 01:45:28.417 And then they buried me. 01:45:29.292 --> 01:45:31.917 Here in this Trusted Department Store. 01:45:33.626 --> 01:45:35.042 And then they buried me. 01:45:39.626 --> 01:45:41.626 Your changing room is waiting for you 01:45:41.709 --> 01:45:46.292 and your dress to coalesce into a simple union of wonder. 01:46:31.292 --> 01:46:34.001 Attention, consumers. Attention, consumers. 01:46:34.084 --> 01:46:36.042 Your shopping will conclude now. 01:46:36.126 --> 01:46:39.251 Pay us for your items and return to your houses. 01:47:02.001 --> 01:47:03.709 Thank you very much. Goodbye. 01:47:03.792 --> 01:47:08.126 - Goodbye to you too, dear Audrey. - Fantastic. 01:47:15.084 --> 01:47:18.459 There will be this asphodel blouse and a pair of those funeral stockings. 01:47:18.876 --> 01:47:20.167 Instantly! 01:47:21.126 --> 01:47:24.292 Excuse me, I was here first. 01:47:24.376 --> 01:47:26.042 No, you weren't. 01:47:26.126 --> 01:47:29.417 Going through that tray doesn't give you the right to bypass the queue. 01:47:29.501 --> 01:47:31.376 You came here after me. 01:47:31.459 --> 01:47:34.042 No, I didn't. Now if you don't mind... 01:47:34.126 --> 01:47:36.584 Such fascination of marvel. 01:47:36.667 --> 01:47:40.334 Its touch to the skin, its contour on the body. 01:47:40.417 --> 01:47:43.126 I will be served first. There'll be this cinnamon bra. 01:47:43.209 --> 01:47:45.126 Thank you very much. 01:47:49.667 --> 01:47:51.001 Ladies! 01:47:52.334 --> 01:47:53.709 Hey! 01:49:53.292 --> 01:49:56.501 Blame! Blame! 01:50:04.501 --> 01:50:08.876 Blame! Blame! 01:50:17.292 --> 01:50:18.876 A dramatic affliction 01:50:18.959 --> 01:50:21.751 has compromised our Trusted Department Store. 01:50:21.834 --> 01:50:23.709 Get out graciously. 01:50:26.709 --> 01:50:31.292 A dramatic affliction has compromised our Trusted Department Store. 01:50:31.376 --> 01:50:34.876 Get out graciously. 01:50:37.959 --> 01:50:40.042 A dramatic affliction has compromised 01:50:40.126 --> 01:50:42.459 our Trusted Department Store. 01:50:42.542 --> 01:50:43.792 Get out graciously. 01:50:49.126 --> 01:50:53.584 A dramatic affliction has compromised our Trusted Department Store. 01:50:53.667 --> 01:50:55.667 Get out graciously. 01:50:59.917 --> 01:51:02.084 A dramatic affliction has compromised 01:51:02.167 --> 01:51:04.126 our Trusted Department Store. 01:51:04.209 --> 01:51:06.334 Get out graciously. 01:51:11.126 --> 01:51:13.459 A dramatic affliction has compromised 01:51:13.542 --> 01:51:17.709 our Trusted Department Store. Get out graciously. 01:51:21.876 --> 01:51:24.292 A dramatic affliction has compromised 01:51:24.376 --> 01:51:28.417 our Trusted Department Store. Get out graciously.